Slept from 3-6 now 7:30 and all I want to do is go back to sleep. I just want to go to sleep til 2020 maybe then I will feel like I have a purpose. Right now I want to cry my key out, which will make me feel better both emotionally and mentally for a bit, then my mind starts to go into overdrive. I feel like my feelings are always hurt, but there isn't anyone around. Then there are times that I am just so damn angry that I just want to hurt people and I'm ok with that, I just get so aggravated with people, I would like to see most not exist though. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Idk
<p>I had just finished talking a shower and as I was getting dressed I wanted to cry. About 130 pm 1/22/12<br>
I want to cry I am so confused. I want to be around ppl sometimes and then I think I just want to be left alone. I don't know what to do when I am around ppl and I don't know what to do without them. I mean I feel like I am stuck. I feel like I am just going through the motion of just being alive. I feel out of it all the time, like I'm having an out of body experience through our most of the day like I'm in a daze it something. And when that isn't happening I feel anxious trying to talk to ppl sometimes. I don't know what to with me.
Monday, January 16, 2012
I have felt angry about nothing for the last two days and then very sad for about another few hours after. And now a little happy.1/16/12
Ok a few days later and I now just feel so aggravated. I want company but not like this anymore or maybe because he bores me. Nah I think I need to start planning and writing things down, hopefully it will allow me to stay focus and for a refreshing change my may clear. 1/21/12.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
He tried I guess
<p>Well I have a friend with benefits, and he is always trying to get me to squirt.  Now the problem is I can squirt, just not with him and I don't know why. So I got two vibrators. Now we tried one so far. A G- spot.tickler, and nothing, well I squirted a bit, but not as much as I should have. I don't know what is wrong. Normally I would have soaked through like six towels and I can't even make a puddle. I would like a tip or something, because he tells me he can feel it and I can't let it out no matter how much I try. Maybe it's him. Or maybe he is right and I'm stuck in my mind. This is disheartening because I thought a vibrator would help with the extra stimulation. Aaaaahhhh heeeeeeellllllpp meeeeeeeee!
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